#711

Two office workers were chatting around the water cooler. "I had a nice quiet dinner with my wife last night, Harry," said one.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, except for the celery."

#712

Two chickens were chatting around the coop. "That big rooster next door made a pass at me!" one exclaimed.

"Really? Did you provoke him?"

"Well, I egged him on a little."

#713

• Did you hear about the Swedish guy who found God after rehab?
• He was a bjorn-again Christian.

#714

So a Croatian walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "We don't serb your kind!"

#715

Tables are not very easy to understand. Unless you're a short person.

#716

• Ever heard of the wooden car with wooden wheels and a wooden engine?
• It wooden run.

#717

• Why is it so easy to make plans with a gymnast?
• Because their schedules are so flexible.

#718

• What's purple and goes slam slam slam slam?
• A four door grape.

#719

• Why does a farmer look out of his window in the morning?
• Because he can't see through the wall.

#720

A man bought a bathtub and took it home, but it didn't seem to work. So he took it back to the shop and said, "This bathtub isn't working! The water doesn't stay in it!"

The salesman said, "Didn't the tub come with a plug?"

The man replied, "No one told me it was electric!"