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Really Bad Jokes

Page 50


  • Why didn't Count Dracula get married?
  • He wanted to remain a bat-chelor.


  • How is a thief like a thermometer on a hot day?
  • They are both up to something.


  • Why does Father Time wear bandages?
  • Because day breaks and night falls.


  • What is a rifle with three barrels?
  • A trifle.


  • What weapon is most feared by knights?
  • A can opener.


  • When do ghosts have to stop scaring people?
  • When they lose their haunting licenses.


  • Why was the insect kicked out of the wildlife preserve?
  • It was a litterbug.


  • What did the leopard say when it ate the man?
  • That hit the spot.


Two muffins are in the oven. One looks over and says, "Gee, don't you think it's hot in here?" and the other muffin says, "AAAAHHH!!!! A talking muffin!!!"


  • What do prisoners use to call each other?
  • Cell phones.