#701

• Did you hear about the girl who skipped rope while she read?
• She jumped to conclusions.

#702

• Do you know about the book about copyright infringement?
• It had legal binding.

#703

Two fish were in a tank. One said to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"

#704

When Noah built his ark, he had two snakes aboard. When the animals were leaving, he said, "Go forth and multiply."

The snakes didn't move.

"Go forth and multiply!"

They still didn't move.

Noah was yelling by now. "Go forth and multiply!"

"We can't," they answered.

Noah was confused. "Why not?"

"We're adders."

#705

• Why is the banana the most popular fruit?
• Because of its appeal.

#706

The cops came across these two kids. One was eating batteries, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let off the other.

#707

• What should you do if windows crashes cost you a lot of money?
• You should bill Gates.

#708

• Why did the lady and her attorney seek a scarlet frock as part of a settlement?
• Because she wanted a red dress for her grievances.

#709

• What do you call a weapon used by a Canadian ninja?
• Canuck-chucks.

#710

Two office workers were chatting around the water cooler. "I had a nice quiet dinner with my wife last night, Harry," said one.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, except for the celery."