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Really Bad Jokes

Page 54


  • What do John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
  • They have the same middle name!


  • How do you catch a rabbit?
  • Hide in a meadow and make carrot noises.


  • Why did the commuter want the carpool driver to take the bridge?
  • To avoid car-pool tunnel!


Energizer Bunny arrested. Charged with battery.


  • What do you call a snail on a ship?
  • A snailor.


  • Why did the farmer make a high-pitched gasp?
  • Because he was tired of the sigh-low.


A deer, a skunk, and a duck went to the grocery store. When they were ready to check out, the deer didn't have a buck, the skunk didn't have a scent, so they put it all on the duck's bill.


  • Why did the barber win the race?
  • He knew a short cut.


Julius Caesar walked into a bar. He said to the bartender, "I'd like a martinus."

The bartender, a little confused, says, "Don't you mean a martini?"

Caesar replied, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it."


  • What did the mermaid do last Saturday night?
  • She went out with the tide.