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Really Bad Jokes

Page 14


  • Why does the corn get mad at the farmer?
  • Because he is always pulling on his ears.


  • What do you feed an invisible cat?
  • Evaporated milk.


One noted chef was a perfectionist. He made the most delectable meals because he expected nothing less. Thus it came as a surprise to one of his students that the chef used low grade spices. "Why do you use the worst spices when you expect the best?" the student asked him one day. "Wouldn't your foods taste so much better if you used premium-grade spices?"

"I once thought as you do," the chef answered. "When I was learning, I bought all the best spices -- they were fresh and perfectly ground, no flaws whatsoever. But taken with their own perfection, they were unruly spices, constantly fighting each other to be the dominant taste instead of working together. So I tried lower grade spices -- they weren't so perfect, but they weren't so intractable either. And so it is well to remember, my dear pupil, that a glitch in thyme behaves fine."


  • Older Brother: "Hooray! School's out! I'm free! I'm free!"
  • Younger Brother: "So what? I'm four!"


  • What's a knife's favorite dessert?
  • Slice cream.


In a particular small country, there was a king. He was much beloved of the people, and so they built for him a castle. But they were poor people and could only afford to build it out of grass. So they worked for weeks, and finally completed a lovely woven grass castle for him. And the king was pleased.

Another country, significantly richer than the first, presented a peace offering of an ornate throne. The king accepted this gift graciously and was most pleased. The only trouble was, the throne was very uncomfortable. So the king got himself a more comfortable chair and kept the massive throne in the attic. Naturally, it fell through the floor and killed him.

The moral of this story: People who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.


  • What part of the body is like a sandwich meat?
  • Below-knee!


  • How do you catch a unique rabbit?
  • Unique up on him.


  • How do you catch a tame rabbit?
  • The tame way -- unique up on him.


Two sausages are in a frying pan. One says, "Geez, it's hot in here isn't it?"

And the other one says, "Aaaaaah! A talking sausage!"