Main      Site Guide    
Really Bad Jokes

Page 4


A hungry African lion came across two men. One was sitting under a tree and reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest and writers cramp.


Two strings walk into a bar. The first tries to order something. "I don't serve strings in this bar," the bartender says roughly and throws him out.

The second ruffs himself up, ties his ends together, walks in, and orders. "Hey, didn't you hear what I told your buddy?" the bartender says.

"Yeah," the string says.

"Aren't you a string?" the bartender says.

"I'm a frayed knot," the string replies.


  • Where do ghosts live?
  • At the dead end.


  • What did the tie say to the neck?
  • I think I'll just hang around.


  • When is an outlaw neither left-handed nor right-handed?
  • When he's red-handed.


  • What did the candle say when he was down on his luck?
  • I'm at wick's end.


  • Who writes ghost stories?
  • A ghost writer.


  • What do you call a crab that plays baseball?
  • A pinch hitter.


  • Where do pigs park their cars?
  • In porking lots.


  • Why did Ebenezer Scrooge go to New York City?
  • To see the Grumpire State Building.