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King Solomon's Mines (1985)



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Nothing like H. Rider Haggard's famous hero, Richard Chamberlain embarrasses himself in this dumb Indiana Jones rip-off. When he isn't spouting cheesy dialogue, he's heroically rescuing co-star Sharon Stone, who makes about as irritating a damsel in distress as they come. To give you an idea about the intelligence of the plot, one portion of their journey to the mines involves meeting natives who live upside-down in trees in an effort to peaceably reform the world. To give you an idea about the campiness of it all, another scene has Chamberlain and Stone in a giant cooking pot, while cannibals dump chopped vegetables in after them. Throw in some Nazis (in to the movie, not the stew), and you have a picture that should have said, "With Apologies To H. Rider Haggard," in the closing credits.

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