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#11

Someday, somewhere, the owner of a rock garden is going to wake up and realize rocks don't grow. I know. I tried raising a boulder once, but I didn't even get any buds. I think someone should invent a special chemical that could be mixed into clay and cause it to harden into a rock and expand slowly when exposed to water and sunlight. This would be a great boon to gardeners who can't keep things alive. With chemically treated rocks, you start out with stuff that's already dead, and it'll grow anyway. Of course, disposing of rocks that get too big for the garden would be a problem, because, well, you can't exactly chop a rock up and dump it into a beef stew. I think what I would do, since their volume would always be increasing but their total mass would stay the same, is let them grow until the wind blew them away.