Reload this page for a new random thought.

#137

The battle against insects wages eternally. We buy vast quantities of toxic chemicals, slather them everywhere, and hope the ants, flies, mosquitoes, roaches, moths, and other insects that have invaded our privacy keel over and die. The trouble is, insects possess the mystical ability to mutate and develop immunities to these chemicals before they're all dead. So the world's top biochemists are paid millions of dollars to discover new, as yet unexploited toxic chemicals that insects can develop new immunities to. Hello? DUH! It doesn't take a genius to figure out we're losing! I think we need to take a wholly different approach. Instead of jumping right into bloodshed, let's try what people often do to get irritating neighbors to move out, or unproductive employees to leave their jobs. Bother them. Somebody manufacture these little tiny radios that don't turn off. You buy these by the bag, tune them all to heavy metal stations, crank the volume, and drop them down ant holes, stuff them under the refrigerator, hide them beneath the floorboards, and wedge them in the cracks in the basement. Wherever insects invade your home with theirs, force them to listen to loud music all day and all night long. Lacking the engineering skills to deconstruct the radios and turn them off, they'll have no choice but to go away or lose so much sleep they fall into a semi-conscious daze and wander carelessly out into the open, where the family dog will lick them up.