Main      Site Guide    
I Think

Random Thought

Reload this page for a new random thought.

#194

It's the age of computers, and all the LANs and WANs out there ensure that every electronic device can be simultaneously connected to every other electronic device. We've all got our own copies of the Library of Congress in our pockets. Therein lies the rub. Who wants to carry around gadgets in our pockets? Pockets are where we keep our car keys, and look how often we lose those. I suppose you think I think I've got a solution for this problem. Well of course. The solution is to turn into cyborgs. Instead of a gadget on a LAN connected to a WAN, you just turn your body into a PAN -- Personal Area Network. Embed a CPU in your brain, and use the preexisting biological transmission lines known as the central nervous system to transmit information between that and all the various device nodes implanted in other parts of your body. Instead of carrying around a cell phone, embed some buttons, a microphone, and a screen display right into your upper arm. Simply raise your arm, and you can talk into it. (This would make proper deodorant selection extra important.) Speak into the microphone, and the sound is transmitted up to the CPU in the brain, which routes it to the antennae grafted onto the tops of your ears. Record the conversation automatically simply by activating your MP3 player/recorder, installed behind your earlobes, where it can play music directly into your auditory canals. Instead of navel-gazing when you're bored, gaze instead on an upside-down LCD belly screen, which is constantly projecting audio-video materials captured by your BodyTivo. An internal pedometer wired directly to your legs transmits information to be projected on a supplementary visual display superimposed directly over your normal field of vision, which also displays a running net total of calories eaten and calories burned. Blood viscosity reports, artery throughput, and appendix cohesion monitors ensure health risks are detected early. Better keep up to date with the latest virus protection software, though, or imagine the havoc a hacker could wreak.