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#162

As pendulums, tides of opinion swing from one extreme to the other. It is the way of society. The key to being a productive member of society is to recognize when shifts in thinking are going to occur and knowing how to cash in on them. For example, once upon a time it was a vile, disgusting act to pick up a crumb of dropped food off the floor and eat it. But the tide of propriety ebbs and flows, and people are starting to think that perhaps wasting a bite of double chocolate fudge chip cookie is a more vile and disgusting act than eating it off the floor. So we have the "five second rule," which makes it all right to eat morsels off the floor as long as they haven't been there long. If you are sharp enough to think as I think, you are already saying to yourself, "Why, the pendulum of opinion is starting to swing from one extreme to the other on this issue!" Indeed. If we have made one concession about eating floor food, surely this will lead to another and then to another. Following this shift in mindset to its logical extreme, why, in just a few years we'll be eating food off the ground just to conserve clean dishes. That leads me to my new idea for a restaurant. Restaurants today waste so much money on food that never gets served to customers. Anything that falls on the floor in the kitchen is mopped away. My idea is to save all that stuff. Every so often, sweep spillage up and dump it in a bucket. The rich people can buy regular entrees at exorbitant prices, while more averagely pocketbooked consumers can order floor food by grade. Mixed floor food, guaranteed to have been in contact with the floor no longer than ten minutes, would be sold at like six dollars a pound. One hour floor food would go for five, and so on, until you get to the food scraped off assorted kitchen surfaces at the end of the day, which would be sold at an economy rate.