Questions Asked of Park Rangers
These questions were actually asked of various park rangers across the
Everglades National Park:
- "Are the alligators real?"
- "Are the baby alligators for sale?"
- "Where are the rides?"
- "What time does the two o'clock bus leave?"
Grand Canyon National Park:
- "Was this man-made?"
- "Do you light it up at night?"
- "I bought tickets for the elevator to the bottom -- where is it?"
- "Is the mule train air conditioned?"
- "So where are the faces of the presidents?"
- "So is that Canada over there?"
Denali National Park:
- "What time to you feed the bears?"
- "What's so wonderful about Wonder Lake?"
- "Can you show me where the Yeti lives?"
- "How often do you mow the tundra?"
Mesa Verde National Park:
- "Did people build this, or did Indians?"
- "Why did they build the ruins so close to the road?"
- "Do you know of any undiscovered ruins?"
- "Why did the Indians decide to live in Colorado?"
Yellowstone National Park:
- "Does Old Faithful erupt at night?"
- "Do you put the animals away at night?"
- "How do you turn it on?"
- "When does the guy who turns it on get to sleep?"
Carlsbad Caverns National Park:
- "How much of the cave is underground?"
- "So what's in the unexplored part of the cave?"
- "Does it ever rain in here?"
- "So what is this -- just a hole in the ground?"
Yosemite National Park:
- "Where are the cages for the animals?"
- "What time of year do you turn on Yosemite Falls?"
- "What happened to the other half of Half Dome?"
- "Can I get a picture taken with the carving of President Clinton?"
Banff National Park:
- "Is that food coloring in the lakes?"
- "When did you build the glaciers?"
- "How much for a moose?"
- "Where are the igloos?"
- "How do the elk know they're supposed to cross at the Elk Crossing
- "At what elevation does an elk become a moose?"
- "Are the bears with collars tame?"
- "Is there anywhere I can see the bears pose?"
- "Is it ok to keep an open bag of bacon on the picnic table, or should
I store it in my tent?"
- "Where can I find Alpine Flamingos?"
- "Where does Alberta end and Canada begin?"
- "How far is Banff from Canada?"
- "What's the best way to see Canada in a day?"
- "When we enter British Columbia, do we have to convert our money to
- "Where can I buy a raccoon hat? All Canadians own one, don't they?"
- "Are there phones in Banff?"
- "So it's eight kilometers away. Is that in miles?"
- "We're on the decibel system, you know."
- "Is that two kilometers by foot or by car?"
- "Did I miss the turnoff for Canada?"
- "Do you have a map of the State of Jasper?"
- "Is this the part of Canada that speaks French, or is that
- "If I go to British Columbia, do I have to go through Ontario?"
- "Do they search you at the British Columbia border?"
- "Are there birds in Canada?"
- "I saw an animal on the way to Banff today. Could you tell me what
- "How do you pronounce 'Elk'?" / "'Elk.'" / "Oh."
- "Where can I get my husband really, REALLY lost?"
Glacier National Park:
- "When do the deer become elk?"
- "When do the glaciers go by?"
Isle Royale National Park:
- "I just saw the ugliest horse I've ever seen." -- After seeing a
Sutter's Fort State Historic Park, Sacramento
- "Where are the tracks the wagon trains ran on?"
- "Where do you cook?" / "We cook over the fire here." / "Don't your pans
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