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The Warrior and the Sorceress (1984)



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Rival overlords have their respective fortresses established within fifty feet of each other (no, they aren't Bugs Bunny and Yosemite Sam). A well, full to the brim, lies between, and the struggle between the overlords (who would rather die than dig a new hole elsewhere) centers around its control. A warrior shows up, and an old guy, the complex's salaried tour guide, shows him around the place. The warrior offers his services to one of the overlords (the fat one), but the overlord's sock puppet implements a plan to double cross the warrior. Thus begins The Warrior and the Sorceress, which, except for the shoddy direction, wooden acting, banal dialogue, drunken logic, missing characterization, unintelligible exposition, lethargic fight scenes, disorienting editing, painful soundtrack, laughable set design, gratuitous sensationalism, and uninvolving story, is a darn good movie. Seriously, while this movie's inherent problems are extreme and prolific, dooming it with my lowest rating for the rest of eternity, that's not to say there isn't the occasional (rare) redeeming quality. It would not be embarrassing to admit, for instance, that the tricks the warrior uses to play the two overlords off each other briefly aroused one's cursory interest. Yet the ridiculousness of this movie's errors, gross and blatant logic flaws being the most annoying, have to be seen to be believed. (And I highly recommend merely taking my word for it.) This movie's only conceivable audience would be a small gang of guys who enjoy laughing at bad movies.

Guest Reviewer: Dave Parker:

Have these people never heard of bows? Let's forget for a moment that it would be patently impossible for mortal enemies to construct castles fifty feet away from each other, and let's also forget that they don't need to fight over that stupid well. Let's assume, just for the fun of it, that the situation as presented in the movie actually came to pass.

What would you do if your mortal enemy lived fifty feet away from you? Would you:

  1. Periodically waste half or more of your men on futile raids on the well.
  2. Train a few archers to pick off your enemies men from the safety of your castle.
  3. Move to a better neighborhood.

The correct answer is, of course, C.

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