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The Perils of Gwendoline In the Land of the Yik Yak (1984)

(aka: Gwendoline)



Reviews and Comments

I knew this movie was going to be bad. I was convinced. (1) It billed itself as an adventure in the spirit of Indiana Jones, and it was made when Indiana Jones was especially popular, (2) I had never heard of it, and (3) it has the title The Perils of Gwendoline In the Land of the Yik Yak. One of the above signifies nothing; the three together is a bad movie guarantee. But I watched the movie anyway. If only someone had been around to slap me for this lapse of sanity, I could have spared myself a lot of pain. I knew it would be bad, and I was right. What I didn't realize, however, was how thoroughly bad it would be. This cheap flick has not the tiniest redeeming quality. Every ounce of it is so utterly wretched, it's truly amazing the filmmakers didn't burn every last negative out of sheer embarrassment. Not one fine detail is good: not one of the character's portrayal or entertainment value, not one scene's acting, not the writing of one line of dialogue nor its delivery, not one note of the score, not one of the sets, not one joke, nothing, nada, zip, zero, zilch, bupkis. We're talking acting and characterization so bad it makes Gor look like Lawrence of Arabia. Every last scene abounds with grossly flawed logic. (When dogs hunt you down for a kill, zig confuses the dogs and tires them out.) Even the action scenes are deplorable -- thankfully, the cinematography is bad enough so that you can't see what's going on through the majority of them (and I doubt the actors even know), but at one point I distinctly spotted the hero dodge the wrong way when someone swung a knife at him -- essentially in to the path of the blade -- but the guy missed anyway. I'll cut this review short, though I could go on at great length ruthlessly yet accurately ridiculing this movie. But even this much of a review is more time than it deserves.