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At-A-Glance Film Reviews

Red Sonja (1985)



Reviews and Comments

"I know you are a brave girl. But danger is my trade." It's schlock like this that gives the swords-n-sorcery genre a bad name. Brigitte Nielsen stars as Red Sonja, a female warrior given strength to avenge her family. Arnold Schwarzenegger is a guy that helps her out. Along the way, they gouge out the eyes of an amusement park ride and do battle with an army of people who stand around and watch as they are picked off, one by one, by the heroes. The most despicable part is child actor Ernie Reyes, Jr, who not only turns in the worst performance, but has the worst lines. (His method for looking tough is screeching, "Ahya! Ahya! Ahya! Ahya! Ahya! Ahya! Saa! Saa! Saa! Saa!") He is so awfully bad, one would prefer Macaulay Culkin in the role. One would even prefer Culkin in drag as Red Sonja if it somehow meant not having Reyes Jr in the movie. Anyhow, he, along with his attendant, are annoying and unnecessary and take away too much screen time away from Nielsen and Schwarzenegger. The film's single (moderately) strong scene, which almost raised its rating by a half star, involves Nielsen and Schwarzenegger flirting with each other and ending up in a "friendly" sword fight. Yet, the bouts of depression I experienced as a result of this movie up to as much as twenty four hours later more than compensate for this minor strength.