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Milly "The Silly" Barca escapes

Notorious criminal Milly "The Silly" Barca is at large tonight after an unknown person aided her escape from the maximum security wing of the Northern Fortress. Barca was imprisoned for life without parole for her shocking crimes which horrified the nation several years ago.

As far as police can reconstruct the escape, a visitor to the fortress used a heavy object to smash the lock off Barca's cell door. "This was obviously no accident," said a police expert after examining the broken padlock. "Whoever did this had to try at least three times before they were successful." Other cells in the maximum security wing were also tampered with.

It is believed that Barca may have used her well-known psychological cunning and extraordinary intelligence to convince her accomplice that she was harmless, and indeed wrongfully imprisoned. Before her capture, she was famous for her ability to use her misleadingly delicate and pretty features to assume the role of a maidservant or even a princess. "Milly The Silly is very, very clever and dangerous," said one of the fortress guardians in an interview recently, trying to force himself to stop trembling. "She may look like a sweet young girl, but let's not forget this is the evil mastermind behind the case some people still refer to as the 'Baconslicer Incident'. And then there was that other time, I mean, heck, they found some parts of those eight guys spread over ten miles. I mean, hanging from trees. She probably knows where I live and everything, too." The speaker, a 7'4" ogre in plate armour, then hurriedly excused himself and rushed to the bathroom, saying he was not feeling well.

Most guards were still in a state of shock at the news of the prisoner's escape. "Who would do such a thing?" asked one fortress employee. "Do people have no sense of responsibility, no sense of right and wrong? What sort of morally bankrupt character believes somebody's a beautiful captured princess just because she says so? Didn't this guy ever stop and think she might be in a maximum security cell in a magically protected fortress twenty miles from civilization for a freaking reason?"

Whatever reason the unknown visitor had for releasing Barca, the incident cannot be considered a flaw in the fortress's defenses. An examination of the maximum security wing shows ample evidence of the precautions taken, in view of Barca's extremely dangerous nature. Located at the far end of a row, her now empty cell has triple-strength bars and windowless three-foot-thick solid stone walls. A parchment scroll pinned to the end of the corridor gives clear instructions to anyone entering the area: "Doe notte approach ye bars. Doe notte touch ye bars. Believe me, you do notte want Milly the Silly inside yr. hedde."

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Article by C. Patrick.