Faust
By Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Ultra-Condensed by Samuel Stoddard and David J. Parker
Faust
I'm a symbol of humanity. (tries to kill himself)
Mephistopheles
I'm the devil. (does evil)
Faust
Devil, let's make a deal.
(They do, but it goes BAD.)
Faust
This sucks. Devil, fix things.
Mephistopheles
Uh, I can't. Uh. You have to go seek the mysterious underworld
beings called the "Mothers" who have the power to help you.
Yeah. That's it.
(Faust DIES and lives HAPPILY EVER AFTER, because Mephistopheles was
too busy picking up CHICKS.)
THE END
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