This movie firmly cements in my mind that it probably isn't possible to make a good movie based on anything written by J. R. R. Tolkien. At least Ralph Bakshi can be forgiven a little; Rankin-Bass does a thoroughly bad job with what should have been easier source material.

I won't cover the plot, since it's a little obvious (and can be found at Book-A-Minute anyway). However, the animation used in this one is truly hideous -- like Gahan Wilson but without any redeeming value. Every character has a HUGE nose, and the Wood Elves are somehow turned into what could be aptly described as Keeblers from Hell. Most hideous of the lot is Gollum, who looks like a mixture of toad, monkey, strange hallucination, and animator's caffeine trip.

Half the scenes seem to be devoted to establishing that all the characters have the intelligence of library paste. (Most noteworthy was the "EXTINGUISH MEEEE!" scene, which should bring up putrid memories for anyone who sat through it.) In addition to this joy, the writers seem to have gone through the book with scissors and library paste, clipping at will -- Beorn I can almost understand losing, since he's a minor character, but the Arkenstone?! The entire Shire (well, aside from Bilbo)?! Were they just lazy and didn't feel like animating anything else, or what?!

Oh, and finally, the songs. I have nothing against the ones that were actually in the book (although they could have been pulled off better), but there's an insipid little 70s ballad called "Your Greatest Adventure" that was played in snippets over the course of the movie. A small tip: keep the mute button handy at all times, lest the bad 70s-ness overwhelms you.

Rating: Hmm... I'd put it as a solid 2 turkeys, but Tolkien fans with an urge to heckle will probably find it a 3-4 turkey movie.

Scene to watch for: The riddle scene, where the animators focus more on the walls than the characters. (Maybe they realized how awful Gollum was.)

Best line: "EXTINGUISH MEEEEEE!"

Things that make you go "Huh?": The Shire's mysterious disappearance.