Main      Site Guide    

It's a Bad, Bad, Bad, Bad Movie

Reader Review

Sinbad of the Seven Seas

Posted by: Sam
Date Submitted: Saturday, April 3, 1999 at 17:53:58
Date Posted: Monday, April 5, 1999 at 18:06:39

This will be the third time I've reviewed this movie, and the fifth time it's been reviewed on RinkWorks. But there just seems to be so much to say about it. Even when I'm done with this one, much will be left unsaid.

I watched the movie again over the weekend with my brother -- I used this movie to introduce him to the quaint idea of deliberately watching bad movies. Knowing a bit of what to expect, I wrote down all the elaborate proper nouns that were used. Throughout the movie, every time anyone is mentioned, at least one adjective is used in conjunction. It's not "Sinbad," it's "The Powerful Sinbad." It's not "Princess Alena," it's "The Beloved Princess Alena." I didn't even try to count all these, but here are the proper nouns featured in the movie that involved more than a single adjective:

Sinbad, at various times, is referred to as: "The Greatest Prince of the Seas," "The Conqueror of the Seven Oceans," "The Greatest Sailor of All the Seas," and, by Jaffar, "The Man I Hate More Than Hate Itself."

Princess Alena, at various times, is referred to as: "The Princess of All That Is Good" and "The Loveliest and Sweetest Princess That Ever Lived."

Jaffar, at various times, is referred to as: "The Most Evil Wizard of All," "The Hideous, Evil Jaffar," "The Satanic Sorcerer of Basra," and "The Wicked Jaffar, Wizard of All That Is Evil."

Other proper nouns include: "The Kind Old Man," "The Warriors of the Dead King," "The Hands of Goodness," "The Cavern of Nothingness," "His Demonic Twin," "The Evil Will of Jaffar," "The Loyal, Little Dwarf," "The Power of Supernatural Evil," and "The Winds of Utter Destruction," which, by the way, don't even ruffle anybody's hair.

Other great lines of dialogue that I don't think anyone's mentioned yet include an early exchange between Sinbad and one of his crew: "There's nobody here." / "There's nobody here." / "I just said that. That's the point."

On two occasions, Alfalfa, the Soldier of Fortune, quotes Confucius. I have preserved these gems of wisdom so all here may ponder and learn:

#1: "Luck is like a crystal glass. Though it sparkles, it's fragile."

#2: "When the world is upside down...chin up."

Words to live by.

Response From RinkWorks:

Just goes to show you why this is one of my favorite bad movies. Lou Ferrigno should be encouraged to make more movies, just so I can laugh at them.

Back to the It's a Bad, Bad, Bad, Bad Movie home page.