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It's a Bad, Bad, Bad, Bad Movie

Reader Review

The Comic

Posted by: Brian Brotman
Date Submitted: Friday, August 22, 2003 at 13:21:45
Date Posted: Wednesday, December 22, 2004 at 12:01:12

Everyone has seen a movie that has no real ending but just kind of drops the ball on a satisfying conclusion. "The Comic" is one of those movies, but it also has no beginning or middle.

To understand the confusion this movie caused me, you must first know what the back of the box said the movie would be about. It told me that "The Comic" was about Sam Coex, a second-rate stand up comedian that kills other comedians in some sort of futuristic police state. Keep this description in mind as I describe the actual content of the film.

The movie opens with the head and shoulders of a British blonde woman explaining that drugs are rampant, and there is a tyrannical police state in "another time and place." Way to keep it vague. As the British woman fades away, we see a long line of people holding wooden bowls, which one at a time become filled with what appears to be wet concrete. Apparently concrete is delicious, because these people are devouring it in seconds after receiving it and demanding more.

One guy receives his concrete and nonchalantly walks to a picnic table and crawls underneath the table. He does it so casually it makes it hard to believe he was hiding, but I guess he was, because a bunch of guys in pony tails spot him (great hiding spot, under a table with nothing blocking people's view of you at all), pull him from under the table, and beat the crap out of him.

Suddenly, the scene jumps to the backstage of a comedy club. Enter Sam Coex in a ruffled suit and bright orange hair. He asks the manager for a spot in the show and is turned down -- and then he's sitting in the audience heckling the comedian on stage.

Here is where all successful attempts to understand this movie end. The heckling scene shoots straight into what I assume is a childhood memory/bad dream thing. We see a young Sam (still with bright orange hair) wandering a run-down apartment building. Smoke is inexplicably swirling around the floor. He walks into a random room, where he witnesses a murder. We see a shot of Sam's face, and I swear his hair is becoming increasingly more and more orange as the movie progresses. But Sam is just there for a while, but then he speaks. He claims that he will "Kill them all."

Under the assumption that he is on a mission to kill "them all," we see Sam make his first kill. He sneaks up behind the comedian he had heckled and either slits his throat or chokes him; I'm not sure which, as the comedian's feet left the floor, but his throat was squirting blood as well. Either way, comedian dies.

The next scene is not more killing, or even another childhood memory, but magic tricks. That's right, magic tricks. Sam is performing magic tricks to the delight of the same comedy club as before, only this time the whole audience is snorting lines of coke. But they still seem to enjoy his show.

And suddenly we are at a billiard hall/brothel, where Sam Coex shoots pool, does some coke, and pays a prostitute. And then more childhood flashbacks and more coke.

And suddenly he's delivering a baby. Apparently, he had gotten the prostitute pregnant and is delivering his daughter. More coke, more flashbacks, and then he's raising his kid. We only see the kid once though, when she's five or so. I guess a lot of time has passed while he was coked up and hallucinating.

Now the guys in pony tails show up and attack Sam (pony tails = gestapo members, I think?) and throw him in a barn with jail bars. Cue the childhood memory flashbacks again. Then the pony-tail SS come by and pull Sam out of the barn, only to immediately throw him back in. More flashbacks, and the pony-tail SS return. This time, I guess they remembered what they came for the last time and drag him to what appears to be the gate to a garden fence. They place his head in between two bars. More childhood memory flashbacks, and the thrilling denouement: Sam is shown with his head "stuck" in the fence thing, and after a full two minutes of silence, Sam starts to cry and claims "I..........Killed..........................Moe."

Roll credits.

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