I'll open this review with the setting of the movie. This is a Chinese film dubbed into English and appears to be based on a Chinese legend of some kind. The movie is set in, apparently, medieval China. However, the dubbing makes it sound like an English-speaking country, because people have names like Woody and Susan (imagine characters in a Western with names like Jiang and Mao to get an idea of how stupid this is). This effect is also created because people say things like "For real?" and "You guys!" Third, the voices seem to have been done by a few talent-free actors; one of the characters sounds like he has laryngitis, and another sounds like he's a chain-smoker frog with laryngitis. These dubbing stupidities are probably the best part of the movie.

Now, the plot. Let's see...plot...plot...uh, I don't really remember a plot. Probably because there wasn't one. The first quarter of the movie consists of completely random, disjointed fight scenes, and the rest of the movie is only slightly easier to follow. At the beginning, we are treated to such images as flying skateboards, people spitting red dye, fog machines CONSTANTLY working off-screen, and flour flying around as a supplement to the fog.

After fifteen minutes or so, we hear our first real line of dialogue, and it makes just as little sense as the fight scenes: "Why did you fight those Mongolian soldiers?" Huh? What Mongolian soldiers? Who's fighting? Who are these guys talking? Why wouldn't they fight the Mongolian soldiers? This sudden interruption signals the end of the beginning fight scenes and the beginning of, uh, more fight scenes. I would guess that 80-85 percent of this movie is fight scenes, which are badly choreographed and completely unpredictable and thus very confusing (but funny!). One last note about the fight scenes: the sound effects are terrible. Cartoonish, overblown, and overused, they can either irritate you or be the highlight of the film. Personally, I think they're great fun.

Another thing about this movie. As I was watching this, I always felt as if the characters knew something I didn't. They always seemed to know what was going on, but I had no idea. Also, the movie would sometimes skip semi-important stuff. For example, at one point, two characters are trapped in a house. One says, "I want to escape now!" The next scene, they are shown running through the forest. How did they escape? I will never know.

It's great fun, a solid 4.5 turkeys. I must warn you, however. The last five minutes are mostly dramatic sappy stuff that really kills the festive mood. Turn this movie off as soon as Susan and the Wudong people start practicing after the Master's birthday party (got that?).

Scenes to watch for:

- The Red Hand chases Steven.

- The abrupt cut to the waterfall scene.

- The explosions in the waterfall scene.

- The storm at sea scene. Nonstop laughs.

Best lines:

- "Why did you fight those Mongolian soldiers?"

- "Are you guys from the Eagles Cult?"

- "They started it!"

- "For real?"

- "Hogwash!"

- "Teacher! Happy birthday! Have a wonderful life!"

- Any time Susan mispronounces "sword."

- Anything the triangular-tiara guy says.

- "Let's restaurant!"

Things that make you go "Huh?": They try to go 1,000 miles on a raft?