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It's a Bad, Bad, Bad, Bad Movie

Reader Review

Dead Alive (aka: Braindead)

Posted by: Brad Rossman
Date Submitted: Sunday, March 28, 1999 at 14:48:18
Date Posted: Sunday, March 28, 1999 at 18:54:00

Don't bother going to you're local Blockbuster for the version I'm talking about, this is the super-disgusting UNRATED version. Heh.

So, basically, it's a zombie movie, set in the mid-fifties, in New Zealand. A guy from a zoo in NZ goes to the island of Sumatra, captures a cursed "Sumatran rat-monkey" (an ugly and cheaply animated rubber puppet) and gets harassed by locals who know better than to mess with anything that's cursed. Basically, he gets a few scratches from the monkey, and his guide kills him. Guess he knows something we don't... Now, you would think that the death of the zoo guy would mean the monkey would get put BACK, wouldn't you? Well you thought wrong. The monkey gets SOLD anyway (watch the goof who gets paid to dance off with his money), and you don't see him for a while. Now we are going BACK to NZ, to build a plot. Yes, it's not only a zombie movie but a love story too! I'll keep the rest really short. A girl, Paquita, of generic hispanic origin, gets a tarot card reading from her mother. Mother gets all mystical and says you will meet your lover by the sign of the star and moon...and not five seconds later in walks our hero, Lionel! Lionel makes a fool of himself, a couple of pencils and a black thing fall down into the aforementioned star and moon thing, and Paquita falls in love. Where are the zombies? Lionel lives with his mother. It's one of those "You don't need any other women besides ME!" deals. Paquita shows up, asks Lionel out on a date, and they go to the zoo. Lionel brings his MOTHER. The rat monkey is at the zoo and bites Lionel's mother. Lionel's mother steps on its HEAD, and we are treated to a graphic display of blood gushing from its superfake rubber head. A shaky plot element is introduced involving how Lionel's father died.

Lionel's mother turns into a zombie as a result of the bite. Her ear falls off, and she eats it. Paquita comes over with her dog. Lionel's mother EATS her dog. They call an ambulance. Lionel's mother kills the nurse (she rips her head back but not all the way off -- this provides comic relief when the nurse's head falls back, and she stumbles around). Lionel puts them both in the basement instead of trying to kill them. Lionel buys animal tranquilizers from a Latvian veterinarian with a Nazi symbol showing through a rip in his lab coat. He seems like another plot element but doesn't come up again. MORE zombies are made, all kept in the basement, two of the zombies have a baby (I didn't know zombies could do THAT), and Lionel, for whatever reason, takes the baby for a stroll in the park and ends up beating it senseless in from of other people, which gets him nothing but dirty looks.

The last 30-40 minutes of the movie are basically a non-stop gore fest. Lionel's uncle throws a party at the house, the zombies get loose, you do the math.

See if you can figure out why there is such a large difference between what Lionel THOUGHT happened years ago to his father and what REALLY happened.

Best line: "Your mother ate my dog!"

Points of note: The cover of the movie doesn't seem to have too much to do with the movie. All the blood and yuck is orange. Death, bloody death, uncomfortable death, fat guy with butcher knives!

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