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It's a Bad, Bad, Bad, Bad Movie

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Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood

Posted by: Jeff
Date Submitted: Sunday, June 4, 2000 at 10:20:47
Date Posted: Wednesday, July 12, 2000 at 07:20:12

Anyways, this film really proves that the writers of the series were running out of ideas -- if they ever had any. The story is about a girl who accidently drowned her father when she was little. Of course, this girl has telekinetic powers and is really depressed about her father. So her mother takes her up to Crystal Lake, where her father drowned, in order to meet a doctor who wants to help her with her powers. So the girl, Tina Shepard, figures out that she uses her powers only when she is really mad. The doctor, Dr. Crews, isn't what he is thought to be. He secretly wants to use Tina in an experiment.

Incredibly depressed, Tina goes to the lake and tries to revive her father but accidentally revives Jason from his watery grave. (Happens to me all the time.) Jason gets incredibly mad and goes on another rampage. Surprise, surprise, there just happens to be a bunch of teenagers partying in the house next door.

It's just what you would expect out of a "Friday the 13th" movie. A bunch of cardboard characters get killed by Jason.

Did I mention that Jason has got to be the quietest killer in the world? While in the woods, he can sneak up on someone without a single twig snapping. And imagine how much Jason must smell! Yet none of his victims notice this either.

The charaters are witless. Everyone always mistakes Jason for someone else, even if there isn't the least bit of physical resemblance.

Best line: "I saw my dad get killed when I was young, and it messed up my life a lot."

Things that make you go "Huh?": Why no one bothered to remove Jason and Mr. Shepard's bodies from the lake after they drowned all those years ago.


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