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It's a Bad, Bad, Bad, Bad Movie

Reader Review


Soldier

Posted by: Rob Moore
Date Submitted: Monday, September 20, 1999 at 19:08:27
Date Posted: Friday, October 1, 1999 at 04:23:04

Kurt Russell is a good actor. Jason Scott Lee is a good actor (see "Map of the Human Heart" if you doubt this). The guy who wrote the great script for "Unforgiven" wrote this film. Therefore, "Soldier" must be...a mess, the worst film of the decade, a pathetic, violent excuse for slumming actors to pull in millions of dollars while their stunt doubles do all the real work. In case this is too subtle, boy, this film is really, really bad.

In the future, soldiers are trained from infancy for their profession. How can you tell if a baby will be a good soldier? Apparently, the...uh, recruiter...walks around the nursery where dozens of babies wail, peers into a crib, and takes a wild guess. As the boys grow, they go to school to learn to shoot, fight, and blow lots of stuff up. Heaven help the boy who can't keep up with the physical training, as he will be shot. (Say, in the age where we're scared of children getting caught in the crossfire...well, is it me or does this seem somewhat tasteless?) One of the boys grows up to be Kurt Russell, the hero of the movie. Considering he shoots and kills without mercy, why is he the hero? Because he's Kurt Russell, of course.

Alas for Kurt and us, a new breed of soldier is created. These soldiers are somehow genetically altered or built or whatever before birth to be better soldiers. Jason and Kurt have a fight, and despite Kurt poking in Jason's eye, Kurt oses and ends up on a planet full of garbage and poor people. Kurt, of course, has a romantic interest who has a young son. Just as you think they're going to fall in love and spend the rest of their lives sorting trash, Jason and those genetic soldiers show up on a sort of training exercise which basically consists of killing unarmed civilians. After many explosions, deaths, bloodshed, and screams, Kurt and Jason go mano a mano. Guess who wins. Go ahead, just guess.

One factor I have not touched on is the dialogue in this masterpiece. That's because there's so little dialogue to discuss. Kurt, I believe, has about fifteen words in the whole film, while Jason has about three. (That writer apparently wrote this thing in a great hurry and did not have time for dialogue, characterization, logic...you know, stuff that really slows a movie down.)

"Soldier" lost a bushel of money. You missed it at the theater -- now miss it on video.


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