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It's a Bad, Bad, Bad, Bad Movie

Reader Review


Posted by: Zarkon
Date Submitted: Thursday, March 18, 1999 at 08:15:06
Date Posted: Thursday, March 18, 1999 at 12:38:38

This is how you produce a movie like Krull:

1. Take the movie Star Wars. 2. Halve the special effects budget. 3. Remove all of the cool gadgets and robots. 4. Hire sixteen monkeys to rewrite the script -- not normal ones, either -- these have to be lobotomized monkeys. 5. Add a chintzy artifact of ultimate power. 6. Change the name.

This feeling is created right from the opening shot (a giant evil fortress flying through space). Our young and inexperienced hero, Luke... err, I mean, Prince Colwyn, has to go and rescue Princess -Lyssa- from confinement in a giant fortress controlled by a faceless evil fellow and his army of darkness. Are they facing unbeatable odds? Of course. Does the hero's family get killed off to motivate him? Sure. Is there a wise old mentor fellow who instructs him? You bet. Does he recruit a criminal to help him out? Naturally. [0] At least nobody's planet gets blown up.

There's another issue to discuss here: character death. Throughout the history of storytelling, the death of a major character has been used to bring home a point, to create pathos, to allow one to empathize with the surviving characters, and for any number of other good reasons. In this movie, however, it looks as if the monkeys just took a dartboard with all the characters' names on it (except Colwyn's and Lyssa's, naturally), and chucked a rotten banana at it every time they wrote a scene. I think this is meant to emphasize the fickle nature of fate and show that the evil guys are big and powerful, but mostly it just prevents you from getting too attached to the characters.

In conclusion: This movie is one of the major inspirations of the '100 things I will not do when I am an Evil Overlord' list[1]. It's cheesy and horrible and can be great fun to watch with a group, especially if you cheer for the bad guy.

[0] These aren't just Star Wars cliches, of course, but the particular set that's used is very suspicious.


Scene to watch for: The wedding scene (which, I admit, was a little bit cool).


Things that make you go "Huh?": Why didn't that old guy just put the sand in his pocket, where it wouldn't be able to run out? Or maybe swallow some?

Response From RinkWorks:

I remember loving this movie when I was about 12 or so. I haven't seen it since. I'll have to rent it again sometime.

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