Ok. Where to begin. First of all, I'll have to admit that I saw this movie about three years ago, so everything's not exact. However, most of the details are still firmly etched in my memory. The movie is NOTHING like the video game, except there are some characters that have the same name. There are no Koopas, Goombas, Lakitus (my personal favorite enemy), or Bowser. Instead, the Goombas are these horrible little henchmen that must be seen to believe. They're the video game equivalent of Pinhead from the Puppet Master series. Bowser is an evil corporate bad guy from ANOTHER DIMENSION! He's planning to take over our world be using a "genetic altering device." The opening scene is showing the plumbers, our dubious heroes, being left somewhere as babies. My memory is a bit hazy at this point, but I believe the plumbers, while cleaning a house, discover the alternate dimension can be easily accessed from the plumbing, through a dimensional gateway. But that's not important. What matters is the movie's version of the video game. Turns out, Nintendo had it all wrong. The Mushroom Kingdom isn't a diverse place of deserts, grassland, and seas. Nope. It's one big desert, with one huge city that makes L.A. seem normal. It's the never ending Party from Hell.

Anyhow, Bowser already is the ruler and has the Princess locked up for a long time. (Or maybe she followed the plumbers and was captured. I don't care.) Mario and Luigi are followed by two bumbling humans and a bunch of Pin-Goombas. We learn there's a desert because there's a two minute shot of the bumbling guys trudging around in it. Whee.

Anyway, it turns out that everyone was originally dinos, when he sees one of the bad guys turning into a horrible CGI raptor. There's a bunch of random scenes, including one where Bowser escapes through the portal and changes some execs into chimps. For some bizarre reason, however, he goes back to his world to be defeated. Maybe he forgot to take his suitcase. There's several bizarre lines of dialogue, including a subplot where the fungus, or something that looked like crazy string, becomes a friend for the good guys. I can only remember one actual line, though: "Look! It's a Bob-Bomb!" Keep in mind these guys had never actually seen one of them before. Maybe they went to a plumber training class that taught them this. Go figure. Oh well. I give this movie three turkeys. It's humourusly bad, but there are long stretches that seem to drag for all eternity, such as the pursuit of the bumbling bad guys.

Scenes to watch for:

- The exec tranformation.

- The bumbling bad guys being turned into Goombas by an irate Bowser.

- Yoshi.

- The mud bath of Bowser.