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It's a Bad, Bad, Bad, Bad Movie

Virtual Combat (1996)

[1.5 turkeys]

This movie is set in a future where everyone knows karate and virtual reality is the main source of entertainment. There are apparently only two virtual reality programs, "Virtual Combat" and, predictably, "Virtual Sex."

A random scientist figures out how to "clone" things from a computer program, and thus brings two of the sumptuous females from the virtual sex program to life. He also, rather inexplicably, brings the head bad guy from the virtual combat game to life as well. Predictably, the virtual combat guy goes on a rampage and kills stuff.

Life is apparently really easy to create. All you need is a big tub of green goop and a computer that can flash a random string of garbage and then display a big box with the words "CREATING LIFE" in it.

A "grid runner" (aka "cop") who has spent a lot of time playing Virtual Combat (and losing) goes to find out what happened to his partner (he was killed by the virtual combat guy, of course). Along the way he falls in love with one of the brought-to-life virtual women and learns how to kill the "A-lifers" (artificial life forms). To kill an A-lifer, you can either dispatch them like you would any normal human, or you can go through a convoluted series of events whereby you apply a preasure of exactly 500 psi to two opposing points on the A-lifer's body. Our hero, of course, chooses to try for the second method.

The head bad guy has a mission -- he wants to "free" all his friends from the virtual combat game. The first time we see life created in the green goop tub, it takes about five seconds. For some bizarre reason, when the big bad guy finally gets to turn on the green goop machine, he starts it with a five-minute delay (complete with digital counter). This, of course, gives him and the good guy time to fight. They fight for about fifteen minutes, after which the five minute counter is just running out. The good guy turns off the green goop machine, and everyone lives happily ever after.

Sound dumb? It was. But painfully so. There was certainly much to laugh at, but most of the movie was so painfully slow and dull (even the fights were slow and dull) that the overall experience is a bad one.

Scene to watch for: Breaking the news to Cathy.

Best line: "A machine with big microchips!"

Things that make you go "Huh?": The explosion of the helicopter.

View this movie's entry at the Internet Movie Database.

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